Outnumbered Two to One

Let’s rephrase that. Very bad things happen when moms take showers.

I figured I’d post this while it was still freshly engraved on my brain.

This morning I decided I was due a shower, a nice hot steaming one behind a locked door because I was too tired to take one last night. It was early, the kids were awake but fresh. I’d just fed them breakfast and everyone was busy with their respective activities - staring slackjawed at the TV while some manner of cartoon animal proceeded to amuse them. Perfect timing, right?

As soon as I disappeared into the bathroom, my little one started banging on the door because I’d left the immediate vicinity. Through the door I told my oldest to put Teletubbies on for him in the bedroom, so I’d be able to hear him but he’d be fully distracted long enough for me to lather, rinse, and repeat.

It worked like a charm. An ill fated charm.

Here are a few things I did not take into consideration.

1. My toddler was only wearing a diaper and a tee shirt.
2. My teen promptly walked out of the room to download music.
3. My toddler’s fascination with his privates would inspire him to unfasten his diaper and explore his anatomy while he watched Lala make Tubby Toast.
4. Said diaper was apparently loaded. Yes. Loaded in the worst. possible. way.

Suffice to say I went from relaxed hot shower to raving hot mess in no seconds flat.

My day can only get better, right?

On a lighter note Kat from Mother Fonker told me I Kick Ass x 2. Yay me.

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