Nov 17 2008
Oh Sister, Sister
The battle lines have been drawn. War is being waged and my daughters are once again sworn enemies. The tension is palpable, or maybe that’s the lingering scent of fried plantains in the house (we’ve got crappy ventilation). Either way, my teen and my tween are holding us hostage with their bickering.
At the heart of it is my tween’s new found strategy of completely ignoring her older sister’s existence. Indefinitely. Something that cuts my teen to her core as she considers herself, by rite of oldest child, to be the boss of everybody. And I mean everybody. To not be heard his her worst nightmare, it compounds her frustration exponentially.
More often than not I find myself siding with my tween because I’ve seen first hand how harsh her sister can be with her. Every question the tween poses, every request, every comment is met with hostility, sarcasm, and contempt. My tween is forever complaining about her sister’s mean streak, to the point where I gave her the following advice…
“Just ignore her. Ignore her when she’s being mean to you, ignore her when she’s nice, ignore her all the time.”
Oops. Er…
I didn’t actually remember uttering that little nugget of guidance. Then today after my teen’s rant about being invisible and how unfair it is for her younger sister to disregard her so plainly, I approached my tween and tried to convince her she couldn’t ignore her sister for the rest of their lives. They share a room, they share a house, they share the common bond of sisterhood.
To which my tween replied, “But you told me to do it.” Then promptly threw my words right back in my face. Oosh.
Needless to say, my teen who was sitting nearby was adequately appalled, while I attempted to back pedal in true stupid-mommy form.
I never actually expect them to listen to me, much less heed my advice. Jeez. If they were only so obedient in other arenas.
