Jan 06 2009
When It Rains It Pours…Vomit
If I had a puke umbrella, it would have seen quite a bit of use the past few days.
Saturday, my five-year-old son, who I had assumed was over the worst of his (0ur) flu, began throwing up. He was lethargic on and off all day between bouts of vomiting. I was sure he would be too sick to attend school (thus successfully ruining my dreams of a mostly empty house) but by Monday, he was absolutely fine despite his assurances that *koff, koff, groan, groan* he was still very ill.
I can spot a faker when I see one…he is number three in a family of quite dramatically gifted children.
But yesterday the other shoe fell, and my toddler, my sweet hellion of a child, proceeded to throw up on or near my person a whopping total of five times. There’s only so much barf a mother can get on herself before she starts to take it personally, before she begins to think it’s some sort of gross conspiracy designed with the sole purpose of breaking her spirit…
So of course, it being a weekday, we whisked our sick little cherub to the pediatrician’s where he quickly diagnosed him with nothing other than some irritating bug that will eventually run its course.
Well, duh.
Also, we should not feed our baby dairy, or soy, or anything that he normally eats.
In case you have never met a toddler, let me fill you in. There is no reasoning with a two-year-old. Their language is limited, their patience is nil, and their capacity for shrieking is otherworldly.
Now, say a sibling pulls out a bag of Cheetos and starts munching away in said toddler’s vicinity. The results, my friends, are EXPLOSIVE. Perhaps not nuclear, but pretty darn destructive in their own right. I won’t even touch the powdered donut fiasco.
Another down-side…and you responsible parents might want to cover your ears eyes for this next segment. My toddler, my two-year-old child, falls asleep every night happily sucking on a bottle of soy milk. Without the bottle, there is no bedtime routine, he will not put his sweet little head on his pillow without that silicone nipple propped in his mouth.
This is going to require some improvisation, as well as creativity I doubt I can muster after the night we had. Let’s just say said throw-uppy baby ended up in his parent’s bed, his little boy feet pressed alternately against his mother’s ribs, her spine and her neck. I’ve got muscle aches places I didn’t even know there was muscle tissue.
Hopefully we’re seeing the tail end of this thing, this ongoing plague. Even still, I think that puke umbrella is a good investment.
You’d buy one, wouldn’t you?
Ewww. So sorry about the multiple vomitting on your person!! I hope the little guy is feeling better soon. How is it that they always seem to know how to kick in the ribs while they sleep??
That’s awful! Don’t feel bad, I think my youngest was 3 or so before I took the bottle away at night. Who cares what other people think! I would definitely buy a puke umbrella! Hey, have you ever tried to “catch” the puke coming out of your child with your hand? What’s up with that? I’ve done that, then thought what the hell was I thinking?!
You have got puke coming at you from all angles, don’t you? Jeez woman. Let’s hope this is the last of it. My kid still gets one bottle a day, screw the doctors. Oh, and if I were you, I would get a colored puke umbrella. The clear one just means you have to look at it. Yuck.
Ugh. So sorry for the vomit downpour (up-pour?) going on there. I hope he’s feeling better.
Yeah, I’d definately recommend an umbrella. Preferably one that shoots a bit of purell in the air periodically. LOL. Poor little guy. I do not miss those times when they were too little to understand the whole ‘puke in the bucket’ concept. You poor mom!
I win! My kid took a bottle of milk to bed with him until he was 4.5yrs old. I am definitely a WORSE mother than you.
As for taking away dairy when they’re pukey? It never made a difference when we did it with Little Man so we gave up trying to take it away. We just prepared ourselves for the fact that his puke would smell like sour milk. Fun times, baby. Fun. Times.
I’m sure you’re looking forward to the days when they can make it to the bathroom to throw up! Or at least in some kind of bowl!
We could have certainly used one of those the last week or so. Thank goodness the “rain” has stopped! Hope yours are feeling better now too.
~Jenny~
I so would have bought that from you! Can you please add a rain coat to your line as well? My baby doesn’t know how to puke anywhere but on me and herself. A coat would be handy!
Hi, cool post. I have been thinking about this issue,so thanks for sharing. I’ll certainly be subscribing to your blog. Keep up great writing
Hi! foLGZedO
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