Jan 09 2009
Insert Guilt Here - Spin Cycle
Once upon a time I used to be a working mom, back when I was in my 20s and we needed the cash and my mother-in-law was disposed to sit for our one, then two girls for free. I had guilt then, of course, over my absence the better part of the day, over my impatience when I finally was home, over calling in to work when my children were sick, or not being able to miss a day even though they were. There was the dirty laundry that piled up, the field trips I couldn’t attend, having to wake my darlings up before sunrise just to get them to their grandmother’s so I could be to work on time. It made for a crappy feeling I was never able to come to terms with.
When I got pregnant a third time, my mother-in-law, who was getting older and sitting for a total of four kids all together, finally decided to throw in the towel. By then my husband was making better money and we agreed me staying home on a more permanent basis was way cheaper than paying for child care times three. After my son was born I quit my county job and became a SAHM, an acronym I wasn’t familiar with until after I resigned from my full time position.
Stay-at-home-mom. It’s worked out for us, mostly. I can’t imagine caring for my now four children and attempting to commute to a corporate office five days a week. There are so many unpredictable variables I’m confronted with on a regular basis, things that tend to interfere with an actual paying job. Then there’s all that chauffeuring that goes along with the parenting, the cleaning, the feeding…good Lord the never ending feedings!
The plus is I’m around for everything. I don’t miss milestones anymore, I’m here to comfort them through every sadness, every ailment, every bump and scrape and fall. I’m here 24/7.
The downside is, living on one income occasionally bites. More often than not it sucks. Royally. So while I am providing my children with a certain measure of emotional stability, my presence doesn’t do very much for our checkbook. And when the kids are done basking in the ethereal glow of my infinite love, occasionally they need stuff. Material stuff you can only buy at a store with cash dollars.
Their needs are covered, don’t get me wrong. Food, shelter, clothing. The basics. But in kid lingo the word “need” takes on a whole new meaning. My oldest needs her own room. My tween needs a new rolling backpack. My five year old needs to go to Universal Studios. My two-dler needs…well, for now at least, he’s cheap to satisfy.
So the guilt seeps in again. Because I could, in theory, get a job. Earn some money. Contribute to our net worth and maybe occasionally afford us the luxury of a vacation. But it wouldn’t be without its sacrifices, would it? When the kids are older it might be an inevitability, I might have to spruce up that resume and get out in to the working world, but for now, my job is laid out for me. Guilt or not. I just wish it paid a little better.
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Do you have a guilty conscience? Tell it to Sprite’s Keeper , or stop by The Spin Cycle for more guilt ridden posts.
If SAHM paid at all, I would be all over that! I deal with guilt daily over leaving my daughter in someone else’s capable hands. You’re linked and forgiven!
I’m going the other way right now. You’re right, there is guilt on both sides. They’ll get much more out of having you around than out of anything you could possibly buy them though!
I deal with the working mom guilt everyday. I feel awful that I have to take my son to the daycare. He may love it but it kills me inside.
When they are all older and in school there will be plenty (well I’m not sure about that) time for work. Enjoy your special moments and the privilege of being a SAHM!
The guilt is always there. I felt guilty when I worked full-time and now I still feel guilty working part-time. I don’t think mothers ever are completely free of guilt. Your kids are lucky that you’re home with them and they can “bask in the ethereal glow of your infinite love” each and every day.
“When the kids are done basking in the ethereal glow of my infinite love, occasionally they need stuff.” I think this is something all SAHMs think from time to time! It really can be a tough choice.
Six of one, half a dozen of the other. Bad points to both. We’re sorta in the same boat as you. Work out of the home, one income. Anyway ya look at it, the money doesn’t keep up with the ‘needs’. Fortuantely for me, both my girls are old enough to work. lol. So any extra ‘needs’ they have are also paid for by them…i.e. that magazine for $8. she needs, all those trips to the mall ….etc. It’s finally letting up and it feels nice. Your time’ll come. Hang in there…in the mean time, know you’re not alone. We’re all feeling the pinch. :o)
Y’know? I heard that to replace a SAHM it would cost $60,000 a year. If you had to pay for daycare, house-keeper, cook, etc. That would be sweeeeeet if we could get reimbursed for that!!!
“Based on a 90-hour work week, Salary.com has estimated that a fair wage for the typical stay-at-home mom would be well over $90,000 for executing all of her daily tasks. Factor in overtime, and the appropriate salary takes a leap of around $25,000 ($115,000).”
That only looks at a 90 hour week, though, and since SAHM’s are on call 24/7, no sick days, no vacation days, etc., it’s still figured on the ‘low’ side…
Moms feel ‘guilty’ for working and putting kids in daycare - SAHM’s feel ‘guilty’ for not contributing to the needed income to survive in the 2-income world…cost of living has gone up drastically, but salaries have not - just ask my hubby, every time he gets an annual raise, health insurance goes up almost the exact same amount, so technically he’s not getting a raise…meanwhile, the cost of living is still going up…
Sure would be nice if us SAHM’s could get some sort of compensation for all the work we do!
Very well written. I feel this every day as well. I worked until my second. Work was never very understanding about having sick kids. Man I miss the money. But, I know I would miss my kids more. WAIT! Did I just say that??? lol
I felt the same guilt when I was working after Graham was born. Now that I’m home, I feel guilty when I impulse buy things we don’t NEED since I’m not bringing in any of the money. Don’t get me wrong, Jamie NEVER says a thing about my spending or implies that I should be more frugal but I’d like to have a part in supporting our family too. That being said, I would feel guilty if I went back to work and put the kids in daycare. What the hell, there’s guilt no matter what you do.
Our society is paying the price for all of the kids that raised themselves while both parents went to work. It sent a clear message that work and money were more important than family. If you think for one second, that I would prefer you go to work over staying at home and managing the everyday affairs at home, you are nuts. You provide me with the comfort of knowing that our children are taken care of by one of two people (me being number two)that would die before allowing anything bad to happen to them. I will work as many hours, at as many jobs necessary, to provide the legitimate needs of our family. Would more money be nice…yes. Would more stuff be nice…I guess. Don’t you worry about the kids. What we are giving them cannot be measured by any man-made unit of measure. I would like you to realize that you will always be more than just a money maker. Friend, cook, chauffeur, cop, judge, maid, the list could go on forever. How could you have the time for guilt. Then after doing all of that, you have to deal with me and all of my crazy ideas and wants. You have nothing to feel guilty about. If listen carefully, I am sure someone in the house is screaming for their mommy. Good luck!
After writing all that, I forgot to tell you how much I love you. And I know I will never be able to say it enough, but Thank you….for everything. I would not change a thing. (except for maybe remodeling the bathrooms, and buying that old car, oh and…) Love ya.
I was the SAHM for eight years. Of course, my situation was a bad one, and when I finally got out, I had to work. I work full time now, and the guilt is horrible. But on the other hand, my children and I have a freedom we haven’t had in years either. It’s a balance I suppose. Until the day I win the lotto, I’ll just keep working and realize we all do the best we can.
Motherhood means guilt. It’s crazy ain’t it? This is a well written cry from the heart, thanks for sharing it.
Oh, and thank your lucky stars that ol Daffyfellow appreciates you and what you’ve given up to do the most important and still the most thankless job in the world, and I’m impressed that he has the guts to put it in writing too.
Dude, be a happy SAHM! You’re an awesome mom, and the “I need” mantra is a bottomless chasm, impossible to fill. I wish I had a magic wand to absolve all moms of guilt. We’re so screwed - guilty if we work, guilty if we stay home. And all these little buggers seem to turn out OK in the end, no matter our choices.
Oh sweetie, I think that is what being a mom is all about. Feeling guilty. You would be feeling guilty of you were working too. Since you will feel guilt either way, you have to do what makes you happy.
I seem to remember you mentioning earlier that you wanted to write a book. Maybe you will become a famous author! I would totally read it.
By the way, Daffyfellow’s comments were lovely. Sounds like you have a good hubby there.
I was a SAHM too, until both my boys started to go to school full-time. It is very hard during that time to make ends meet. I signed up to sell AVON, and it only cost me $5.00 to start. I no longer sell it, but I did make some spending money with it (if you don’t buy everything for yourself). Maybe something small like that could give you a little for their needs.
Holy crap! I’m assuming that Daffyfellow is your husband? (First time here so just checking.) He is the sweetest man alive! His post brought tears to my eyes. Awwwwwwww. I feel like watching a chick flick now.
In about 3 years, I’m hoping I’ll be able to SAH. And I fear I’ll have some of the same guilts you do when I do. The good news is I’ll WILL be bringing in a paycheck (in the form of a retirement check from the Department of Defense
), so I’ll at least be contributing something.
And you husband is a sweetie!
I get that checkbook guilt sometimes as well. I guess you can feel guilt either way…
Shoot!! Everyone already said what I was thinking….damnit!! Oh, well, just look at those 4 sweet faces your raising and try to remember that you are only doing the best that you can. Whether you are working or not…we are all doing the best we can.
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