Outnumbered Two to One

• Sometimes when the doctor’s office says “be here at 9:30″ what they really mean is “the doctor will see you at 11:15″. What they really mean is “eat a good breakfast cause you’ll get hungry” and “bring your own reading material unless you want to flip through Golf Magazine or Business Week. “
• At least if they’d told me how long the wait would actually be, I’d have had some coffee before I left the house and spared myself the migraine I had when I walked out of there.
• Normally I wouldn’t mind the wait since it’s technically considered quiet time away from my kids, except since my husband was working, I was there with my darling two year old in tow and he does not wait well. I had to resort to giving him pennies to play with and my car keys and my cell phone. I was obviously ill prepared.
• Also, since it was a general practitioner and not a pediatrician’s office, it was filled with at least seven Cuban grandmas who were all ahead of me.
• For those of you who don’t have experience with Cuban grandmas, they take extreme offense when they witness the child of a bilingual parent speaking in only English. They express their umbrage by talking to each other about how all their grandchildren speak perfect Spanish, and English should come later when a child starts school, and at home only Spanish should ever be spoken. They hold these loud conversations right next to you without ever making eye contact and alternately looking at your English speaking child pityingly.
• Cuban grandmas also have very definite opinions about children playing with money. They also are constantly fretting about children cracking their skulls open on table corners. Any time a child even approaches within five feet of a table corner, they hold there hands out toward said child and scream “cuidado, cuidado.” Unfortunately my son couldn’t understand them.
• Six out of seven Cuban grandmas agree my son is adorable. Even if I am obviously a bad mother.
• One medical professional agrees, I have an ear infection.
• At least I walked out of there with an antibiotic prescription.

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