Outnumbered Two to One

• I am really grateful for leather furniture, otherwise I’d be spending the better part of my day scrubbing hard boiled egg yolks out of micro-fiber. Also, you might be appalled by the amount of times my couch has been puked on. Luckily I can just wipe it away but I know for a fact you can never get the smell of old puke out of a fabric upholstery.
• This week my dear neighbor has been taking the kids to school in the morning in an attempt to balance the scales since I’ve been driving her one kid and my many every day since August. It’s nice not to have to confront morning car lines, which is a little bit like going to war in a minivan. Unfortunately, rather than sit back, sip my coffee, and watch the morning news while she braves the front lines, I have to talk my toddler down from full-blown tantrummy rage when he comes to the realization that he’s not going for a ride in the big truck with his siblings. Kind of cancels out those 20 minutes of peace I’m supposedly getting from not chauffeuring the brood.
• I’ve discovered I’m not much for morning/news/talk shows. Everyone is so well put together and smiley and chipper. It makes it difficult to welcome the day when you’re quietly formulating a host-hit-list in your brain. I think Kathy Lee is probably first, although Kelly Ripa is up at the top too, she should keep her overly toned arms and big teeth to herself.
• I think my dirty dishes are multiplying, possibly from fornicating in the smelly sink water. Every time I load my dishwasher to capacity, I find I’ve still got another entire stack loitering in the sink. Is someone smuggling their dirty dishes in to my house in the wee hours? Please, for the love of Pete, quit it. I’m pretty sure they’re starting to devour the utensils at the bottom and my kids don’t need another excuse to eat with their fingers.
• I’ve somehow lost my navy blue Crocs. I’ve looked for them everywhere. I know they’re ugly and unflattering and sloppy, but they’re my comfort footwear of choice. They slip on, they can be worn with or without socks, and they keep my feet from getting stinky. Why anyone would steal them is beyond me, but I’ve had to resort to sneakers lately which annoys me to no end since they crowd my toesies and require the effort of retying laces at regular intervals. I think the person that’s sneaking in their dirty dinnerware probably took them.
• It’s 11 am and my two year old is still in his PJs, if I had footy pajamas I think I’d still be in them too. They’re warm, they zip up to you’re neck and you don’t have to worry about wearing shoes. The only downside is having to get naked every time you need to pee, although still being in a diaper, he doesn’t really have to worry about that last one.
• While I’m being random, all I can think about is the box of Krispy Kreme donuts in the kitchen. We bought them to help support out local PTA. Or we might have bought them to enable our sugary frosting addiction. If it comes down to a test of willpower, I’ll tell you right now I’m losing this one. I’ll have to Wii hula hoop twice as long, although I have the feeling it will be worth it.

In case you haven’t already, go over and remind Casey she’s one year older today, she’ll appreciate it.

And for more randomness visit Keely, The Un Mom and the mastermind behind it all.

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