Outnumbered Two to One

Saturday, per my son’s birthday request, we took a rare cross-county excursion to Lion Country Safari to check out some wild animals from the comfort of our air conditioned vehicle.

Now the stars of the winding, hour long safari through the preserve should be these guys:

since their name is the one in the actual title, their faces slapped on all the marquees and brochures. The lions should be the main event, in theory. Unfortunately the only big cats we saw looked more like this…

and apparently there have been some changes made to the drive-through enclosure. Where once the lions were able to roam freely among the cars paying a hefty admission fee to be able to do so, now the lion dens are enclosed by a second eight-foot fence, surrounded by an electrified line, topped with barbed wire, and reinforced with a steel highway barrier.

Uhm, what the hell happened at Lion Country Safari since the last time we traveled through?

I’m pretty sure whatever “it” was, involved an cocky, asinine passenger, rolling down their windows (which the signage very plainly discourages) and possibly taunting the sleeping lions to the point where one perhaps tried to dive in through someone’s windshield.

I’m just guessing.

Although I suppose the park employee in the idling zebra striped pick-up, shouting over the strategically placed loud speakers at someone to “immediately roll up their windows” was probably a good indicator.

The lions, on the other hand, barely noticed.

We did see plenty of these guys though:

And as my son is quick to remember…poop. Lots and lots of poop.

Ah, but it’s better than that, it’s poop in its natural habitat.

Since tomorrow is my son’s 6th birthday, we thought we’d include his Kindergarten class in on the celebration by bringing cupcakes to school for everyone to partake in. Luckily Publix has this nifty creation called a pull-apart cake, which is basically individual cupcakes set up in rectangular formation then iced and decorated like a normal sheet cake would be. Any decorated cake they offer can be set up in this fashion.

My son, the dino nut, opted for a prehistoric theme…

Lovely, isn’t it?

The great thing about this cake is that there are roughly two and a half inches of butter-cream frosting smothering the tops of these 30 cupcakes.

In case you don’t know, most 5 to 6 year olds will only eat the frosting off the top of their cupcake, the actual cake part will end up (still wrapped neatly in its paper liner) face-down in the garbage can. Then said children will promptly ask for a second cupcake they can similarly lick clean.

Seems kind of like a waste of $40 but look at these faces…

Tomorrow, we embark on a birthday safari…stay tuned.

Good things about having a birthday:

• cake
• presents
• a husband to do dishes for you
• dinner out
• e-mailed coupons for free ice-cream

• spider veins
• constipation
• weird wrinkles on my forehead
• possible arthritis pain
• hair loss

• Daylight savings
• Springing forward
• Thinking I have an extra hour to do stuff, then realizing I’ve been robbed
• Losing an hour of desperately needed sleep
• Waking up with fat eyes because some guy thought daylight savings was a good idea

Seriously. That guy. What the hell was his problem? If the sun is still out, how can I possibly understand that it’s bed time? If it’s dark, how can I possibly assume that it’s time to wake up? Jerk.

Stupid daylight savings.

Happy My Birthday to Me.

After 24 hours of roaming hospital hallways, munching solely on ice chips, and having random nurses examine my cervix, my youngest son was finally delivered in to my eager, exhausted arms.

I was happy to see him and all, but right then I was more interested in the ham sandwich the nurse had promised to bring me. After not eating food for more than a day, I was famished. It was quite possibly the best sandwich I ever ate.

I have photos of myself in the hospital bed, holding the swaddled bundle in my arms, smiling for the camera and the nurse who offered to take the picture. I won’t display it here because while it is a sweet, satisfying moment, a woman after 24 hours of IV fluids, Pitocin injections, epidural administrations and an episiotomy…well she is clearly not in any condition to be photographed. My swollen nose alone seems to dwarf my 6 lb 4 oz baby by comparison. I won’t even go in to detail about my Fred Flintstone sized feet.

He was perfect though, the tiniest of all my babies and so worth the extended labor.

Happy Birthday to him.

And on to the terrible twos.